Hawkeye's Anatomy
by Samantha-kun
Summary: Who knew that a one night stand would lead to a relationship? Who knew that Central was surrounded by water on three sides? Who knew that this sroy is a spoof on Grey's Anatomy? [Royai] R&R CHAPTER FOUR FINALLY UP
1. Chapter 1

Riza looked over the bed at her one night stand. His dark hair was falling over his eyes, and he was smiling and looking very innocent in his sleep. She brushed her lips against his, and said good-bye. She grabbed her clothes and let herself out of the house. Riza Hawkeye looked up at the early morning sky. She needed to hurry; otherwise she'd be late for work.

---x---

"Elizabeth Hawkeye, you will be working as a subordinate of Colonel Mustang." She saluted to the man who was calling out the names of the new employees of the military. There were groans and some, 'why can't I wok with him' from the other females, but Riza held her head high and walked towards the office where she would be working from now on. As soon as she walked in the door she knew her life at the military would be very eventful. Sitting at his desk, hair falling into his eyes was her one night stand.

He looked up, and his dark eyes widening in surprise. Riza groaned inwardly and stood up straight, saluting him. "Sir!" He waved his hand and moved out from behind his desk.

"There's no need for formalities…umm…" It suddenly dawned on Roy that he didn't know the name of the girl he had just spent the night with.

"First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye sir," she said, "I was transferred to Central from East Headquarters."

"So you'll be working with me now?" Said Roy with a smirk, "This is…"

"Incredibly embarrassing."

"Aww, why can't we just pick up where we left off?"

Roy tried to pull her into an embrace but Riza ducked out of it, "Sir we can't do this. You're a Colonel, I'm your employee. Let's just forget this entire thing."

Roy looked slightly stunned but none the less sat down at his desk, leaving Riza free to sit down at hers.

"Hey Chief!" Yelled Havoc, coming into the room with a broad smile on his face.

"What has you in such a good mood?"

"Nothing..." Havoc cast a look around and saw Riza sitting at her desk. "Hawkeye!" He walked over and tried to give her a high five, "Long time no see!"

"You know her?" Asked Roy, a hint of jealousy in his voice.

"Sure, we worked together in Ishbal."

They were then joined by Kain Furey, Edward Elric, and Haru Springfield.

"Hello," said Furey, sitting down at his desk.

Ed said nothing, sulking as he sat down in a chair.

Haru did not smile, but sat down and promptly set to work.

"AHEM!" Said Roy, standing up. "Everyone, this is First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, a transfer from East HQ. I expect you all to treat her with respect." Roy sat down and began staring at a piece of paper on his desk.

Throughout the day Roy continued to stare at Riza whenever he thought nobody else was looking. Ed began to notice this and waited until lunch to pull his commanding officer aside. "So Colonel, having a good time?" He asked with a smirk.

"I have no idea what you're talking about FullMetal," said Roy, watching as Riza left the office to eat her lunch.

"Oh please Colonel, you're drooling over her. DROOLING!"

"I will let you know FullMetal that you have some work to do." Roy smiled and passed Ed some of his papers. "Get to work."

---x---

Roy waited until everyone else had left the office before he approached Riza. "So..."

She looked up from the paperwork she was doing in the limited light. "We don't have to do this Colonel," she said, working on her paper again.

"Do what?"

"Pretend we care. I'm no longer the girl in the bar, you're no longer the guy. Let's just forget about all of this shall we?"

"Forget what? You sleeping with me, which was quite enjoyable for the record. These are fond memories I want to keep."

"You can't exist. _We _can't exist."

"You took advantage of me, and you want me to forget that?"

"I did not take advantage of you."

"I was drunk, vulnerable, and good looking. You took advantage."

"I did not."

"Yes you did. I was wearing my blue shirt. It made me look good and you took advantage."

"I did not!"

"Let's take advantage again, around seven on Saturday. I'll pick you up."

---x---

Riza, Furey and Haru were the last ones to leave the office, so naturally Riza thought to ask them her question first. "I'm looking for some roommates, and there are only three rooms in my dorm so… would you two like to room with me?"

They both nodded at once, looking very happy to have found roommates.

"Great. I'm on the fifth floor on the east side of the dorms."

---x---

"Stop looking at me like that Colonel." Everyone else was gone and Roy and Riza were left cleaning up the office.

"Like what?" He asked slyly.

"Like you've seen me naked."

Roy smiled and opened the door for her so she could take some of the paperwork back to her dorm.

Riza tried to slip out of the door, but Roy caught her in a kiss, casing her to drop the paperwork. She squirmed away and picked up her papers.

"Good-night Colonel." She said, shutting the door in his face and walking towards her dorm.

As soon as she made it to her room her two new roommates dragged her towards the table. "So, what's with you and Mustang?" Asked Haru, smiling at the flush that crawled up Riza's neck.

"There is nothing between me and the Colonel," said Riza, taking the paperwork to her room and placing it carefully on the bed.

"Oh my god, you slept with him didn't you?" Asked Haru, smiling and pulling back her brown hair.

"Who said she has to sleep with him just fro them to be friends?" Asked Furey, leaning against the doorway.

"Good-night you two," said Riza, shutting the door in her two roommates faces. She sighed and fell fully clothed on her bed. It had been a long day's night.


	2. Chapter 2

Riza groaned and rolled over in bed. At last she gave up, groaned, and walked out of her room to sit at the kitchen table. Sitting there reading a book was her new roommate Furey. "You couldn't sleep either?" He asked, looking up from his book. She shook her head and sat down across from him, staring off into space. "So, what's with you and Mustang? Why was he was staring at you all day?" Riza blanched at the sound of his name, but responded coolly.

"There is nothing going on between me and the Colonel."

"Sure there isn't," said Haru walking in from her room, rubbing her eyes.

"Why is everyone awake?" Asked Riza exasperatedly.

"Well I was at a good part in my book," said Furey, putting in his bookmark. "But this is much more interesting."

"So," said Haru, sitting down on the couch. "Are you suuure there is nothing with you and Mustang? Because I've worked under him for a year now and he gives the exact same looks to the girls he's seen naked."

"And you know this from experience?" Retorted Riza, cocking an eyebrow and smiling.

"No, I've just seen him with a lot of women. And I mean a _lot of them._"

"Well, I think I'll head off to bed," said Furey, grabbing his book and walking towards his room.

"Oh Furey?" Said Haru with a smile.

"What?"

"You snore really loud."

Haru laughed as Furey blushed and shut the door to his room. "So, Riza…." She said scooting closer to her. "Are you sure…"

"YES AM SURE I DID NOT SLEEP WITHT THE COLONEL!" Riza walked back into her room, and stayed there until the morning arose and it was time for work.

---x--

Riza left the room early before her fellow roommates could bother her anymore. She was taking the elevator up when it stopped. A very good looking man with dark hair walked on, still in an early morning stupor. "Riza," said Roy, waking up a little bit.

"Sir," she said coldly.

"So, we're kissing but not dating?" Said Roy, pushing the stop button on the elevator so they could talk.

"I knew this would come up."

"Don't get me wrong: I like the kissing. I'm all for the kissing. More kissing, I say."

"I have no idea why I let you kiss me." Said Riza, pushing the button that started the elevator again. It began to crawl up slowly.

"Is it going to happen again? Let me know next time. I'll bring breath mints. Put a condom in my wallet," Said Roy with a seductive smile. With a sigh Riza walked towards him, and pressed her lips against his. They kissed hard and long until the elevator stopped on their floor. Riza smoothly patted her uniform and walked out of the elevator, followed by a still drooling Colonel.

She walked into the office and sat down at her desk, trying to ignore the Colonel's stares. They were the only ones in the office and Roy kept smiling at her. "Colonel, I cannot concentrate with you looking at me like that," said Riza, signing another paper.

Roy laughed and looked out the window, his hair falling into his face, "Did you know that Central had ferryboats?" He asked, a hint of a laugh in his voice.

"Central is surrounded by water on three sides sir."

"Hence the ferryboats, but I wasn't planning on liking it here. I'm from a small town, I'm designed to dislike it everywhere but there, but now I _have to _like it. I have a thing for ferryboats."

"I'm not dating you Colonel."

"Who said anything about dating? Do you want to date me?"

"I'm not dating you and I'm definitely not sleeping with you again. You're my boss." Riza broke off as Furey entered the room, a smile on his face.

"Good morning Colonel, Lieutenant," he sat down at his desk and began working on a paper on the recent uprisings in Ishbal.

"Chief, we've got a spot of trouble," said Havoc, running into the room, closely followed by Haru who was panting and red faced.

"What is it Havoc?" Asked Roy, unpreterbed.

"Umm sir, we have a rapist here until the hospital will come and get him."

"Then why is this a problem?" Asked Riza, looking up from her paperwork.

"Well sir, the woman he was trying to rape….she..she.."

"Out with it man!" Yelled Roy, standing up.

"She bit off his penis."

Roy looked vaugely scared, but followed Havoc out of the room to find the man. Haru sent one look at Riza and began to laugh. Riza smiled in spite of herself and began to laugh.

"I don't think it's that funny," said Furey from his paper.

"So what'll happen to him?" Asked Haru, sitting down at her desk.

"He'll be urinating out of a bag for a long time, minus a large part of the family jewels." Said Riza, sitting down and continuing to work on her paper.

"Plus he'll never be able to have sex again," said Haru with a smile.

"You're the only one who looks at a situation like this that way Haru," said Furey, "Let's all take a moment to grieve."

---x---

It was lunch, and all of Mustang's subordinates were sitting under the tree in the courtyard. "So Havoc…" said Roy with a smile, "I owe you from last night's poker game. I've got a better idea then money, everything you say for the next thirty seconds is free and you won't be fired."

Havoc smiled and finished his bite of food, "I think you're cocky. Arrogant. Bossy and pushy. You also have a god complex and don't think of anybody but your damn self, PLUS you're a girlfriend theif."

"But I…"

"WAIT! I have twenty three seconds left and I'm not done."

They all laughed as Havoc ranted about Roy for the rest of his time. "Okay, I get it." Said Roy looking a little annoyed.

---x---

It was the end of the day and Roy and Riza were leaving the office. Riza looked over at Roy and he smiled at her. "I'm taking the stairs this time."

"Oh, that's a shame, you're such a good kisser. No self control, that's sad really." Said Roy with a smirk.

"I have tons of self control Colonel, just not around you."

Roy shrugged and smiled, "I have that effect on most women."

Riza laughed and began to walk down the staris.

---x---

As soon as she entered the room she was greeted by a foul scent. Haru and Furey were standing in the small kitchen arguing loudly over a pot of bubbling goo. "It is _not _supposed to be that color!"

"I followed the directions!"

"Maybe you're just a bad cook!"

Riza enterd the room and dropped her bag on the table, "What's wrong?"

They both turned around to face her, looks of shock on their faces. "We thought for sure you were going to be with the Colonel."

"So we thought we would need to cook, I think this is supposed to taste like tomato." Said Haru, dipping her finger into the goo. "Blech! This is gross, I'm ordering pizza."

Haru grabbed the phone off the wall and dialed a number. "Yes, I would like a large pizza, extra cheese, olives, green peppers and pineapple. Yes, we're at Central military floor five, east side, room 189. Great, thanks." She hung up and went to the sink to rinse out the pot.

"The man who invented order in pizza must be a rich man," said Furey, sitting down on the couch with a groan.

"Long day," said Riza, going to her room and changing into plaid PJ pants and a black shirt.

"Oh yay, pizza and a movie!" Said Haru, sitting down next to Furey.

"Ya, pizza's not here, and there's no movie." Said Riza, sitting down in the armchair next to the couch.

"Well, I've got some movies," said Furey, walking to his room and coming back with a stack of DVDs.

"OOO, how about…'Good night and Good luck'?"

Riza nodded and put the movie into the player. It began, and they sat entranced as the plot unfolded. They were jerked from their movie by a knock on the door. Haru ran to get it, and came back with a large pizza. For the next two hours they sat watching the movie and eating pizza.

Finally at around one in the morning Riza stood up and streched. "Well, I'm going to bed. I'll see you tommorow." Neither of her roomates said anything, they were asleep, heads falling onto each other's shoulders. Riza smiled and walke towards her room, turning off the lights and crawling under the covers. Within seconds she was asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Riza awoke to the sounds of her two roommates yelling at each other. Again. She stormed out of the room, ready to give them a piece of mind about them living there. This was her dorm after all. Riza stormed out of her room, pulling her hair into a loose bun as she walked. She looked at the living room, the floor covered in pizza crusts.

"You rolled over onto the pizza!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did!"

"GUYS!" Yelled Riza, pulling out her gun and pointing it at their heads in turn. "We have work to do. No screwing around. Lets get dressed and go; we can deal with this later."

She walked into her room and changed into her crisp uniform, tucking her hair behind her ear. Riza walked out of her room to find her two roommates pulling on their shoes, arguing about something or other. She let out an inward sigh and opened the door and walked towards the elevator. This time there was no Roy, and no kissing. Riza never thought of herself as a kissing person, but she really did have a way with the men. She was still pondering this thought as she walked into the office. Roy wasn't in yet, and that didn't surprise her, so she sat down and began signing papers.

Havoc walked in, followed by Haru, "No Haru, liver cancer will kill me. Smoking will simply speed up the process."

Haru sat down at her desk and pulled out a long piece of paper and began to write on it. "Okay Havoc, you were in Ishbal, who was the person who shot the child and started this war?"

"Juliet Douglas," he replied, casting a look at Roy's empty desk. "Where's the chief, he should be here by now," he asked, lighting a cigarette.

"Havoc, put that thing out or you'll set your paperwork on fire." Said Riza, continuing to sign the papers at her desk. Havoc sighed and Furey walked into the room with a slight frown on his face.

"Has anybody seen the Colonel today?" They shook their heads, casting worried looks at the door. At around noon nobody had seen the Colonel, and they were beginning to worry.

"Well since the chief is gone..." Havoc said with a grin, he stood up and left the room.

"I'll go keep an eye on him," said Haru following the Second Lieutenant out of the room.

"You don't need to puppy guard me," said Havoc as he walked down the hallway.

"You think I'm watching you Havoc, please." Said Haru, following him down the hall, "Actually I was wondering if you could help me and Furey. It has to do with the Colonel, and since you're sort of his friend... we were wondering if you might help. You know Hawkeye?"

Havoc nodded, it was hard to forget the First Lieutenant once you met her.

"Well, I think that her and Roy…"

"Haru you underestimate me, I'm not a baby. If you want something you just need to ask."

"I want you to go over Hawkeye's head to Roy."

"Ask me something easier."

"Okay Havoc, dinner at my dorm. Tonight."

Havoc's cigarette dropped out of his mouth, "Are you asking me out?"

"Maybe," said Haru with a sly smile.

---x---

Roy ran into the office, panting, his dark hair flying into his face. He had really done it this time, oversleeping. Hawkeye was going to kill him, but man did she look good angry. He ran into the office to find it empty except Riza.

"Riza," he said trying to act cool.

"Colonel."

"I overslept."

"I can see that sir."

He was getting nowhere with this conversation, so he sat down at his desk and began to start on the mound of paperwork that was sitting on his desk.

Riza smiled as Furey walked in, followed by Falman and Breda.

"There is no way Haru is dating Havoc!"

"I can so tell that she likes him!"

"Money says that he asked her out."

Just then Havoc and Haru walked into the room, smiling as they did. "So…Havoc," said Breda with a smile, "Did you ask Haru out yet?"

Havoc shook his head, "No she asked _me _out."

"Pay up Falman," said Furey, putting out his hand. "You put money on him asking her out, and she asked _him _out."

"Excuse me," said Riza, "But the Colonel has work to do so if you don't mind…" She pulled out her gun and pointed it at the door. "Either you can be quiet, or get your heads blown off."

They silenced at once, sitting down at their desks to begin their work. She smiled and put her gun away. Haru walked over to Riza about an hour later and pulled her aside. "Riza, Havoc and I are staying at the dorm tonight, so can you and Furey stay with Roy or something?"

Riza frowned, but nodded. "Thanks, you're a life saver."

---x---

It was the end of the day, and as usual Riza and Roy were left to clean up the office together. "Colonel sir, I have a favor to ask you."

"Yes?"

"Haru and Havoc are at our dorm tonight and I was wondering if you would let me…stay in your room for the night."

Roy smiled, "Sure, but what about Furey?"

"He's staying with Breda."

"Okay, I'll order Chinese food."

"I HATE Chinese food!"

"Okay then, no Chinese food."

---x---

Riza rolled out a sleeping bag on the floor of Roy's room. True he had offered to share his bed, but she had declined, even thought it was a Friday. Roy shut off the lights and sat down on his bed. "So, how's the whole roommates' thing going?"

"Ugh, Haru is so peppy, and Furey is so…considerate. They argue, and they try to cook in my kitchen! _They're happy."_

"Kick them out."

"I can't kick them out, they just moved in! I asked them to move in!"

Roy laughed and laid down, "Well you could always move in with me."

---x---

"Havoc you are officially my hero."

"I am going to Hell. Hawkeye is going to send me on an express train to HELL HARU!"

"Shut up," Haru pulled him into a kiss, a smile on her face. They fell onto the bed in the room, locked in an embrace.

---x---

"Hey, Riza, wake up."

Riza rolled over and moaned in her sleep. Roy smiled and placed a kiss on her lips. "Sleep well."

* * *

**A/N More reviews would be nice, and I'm sorry that this wasn't up on time. Finals are slowly killing me, and laundry is piling up, along with homework that needs to be done. SO here it is, I hope you enjoyed.**

**BreakingFire- It is a good show, and I'm sorry the update wasn't very soon.**


	4. Chapter 4

Haru woke up and looked over at Havoc. Surprisingly he was gone, so she got up, dressed and went to braid her hair in the mirror. Written in red lipstick were these words, "Welcome to the world of AIDS."

Haru sank to the floor, her hands in her face. "HAHA April Fools!" Yelled Havoc, jumping out from behind the door.

"Don't do that!" Yelled Haru, throwing her brush at his face. "My dad DIED from AIDS! Never do that AGAIN!"

"Sorry Haru, I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't know. Just get out, now!"

Havoc walked out of the room, frowning slightly.

---x---

Roy awoke the next morning to find Riza already gone. He sighed, ran his fingers through his hair, and hopped in the shower. He got out, wrapping a towel around his waist and walked into his room.

"Crap."

Riza was dressing with her back to him, pulling on her uniform. She turned around to face him, and instantly paled.

"Sorry sir," she said, turning back around to pull up her hair.

"So, where did you go?" Asked Roy, grabbing his uniform and walking into the bathroom to change.

"Breakfast."

"Oh? What'd you have?"

"None of your business."

"Cereal person? Straight out of the box or are you all fruit and fibery? Pancakes! Do you like pancakes?"

"I had a pear. Curiosity satisfied?"

"That's sad. Pathetic really, every day begins with a good breakfast." Roy walked out of the bathroom, buttoning up his shirt as he did.

"Come on Colonel, we'll be late."

"We're not working yet, you can call me Roy."

"Riza."

"Well Riza, I'll walk you to the office."

---x---

Haru walked to the office in an angry silence. She walked to the door to find it covered in pictures of her. Not normal pictures, pictures of her back when she was a model two years ago. She walked in the room, slamming the door behind her.

"Morning Major Model," said Havoc, a smile lighting up his face.

"Morning Lieutenant Evil Spawn." Haru sat down at her desk and pulled out the same paper she had been working on yesterday.

At that moment Furey walked in the room, looking vaguely stunned at the pictures plastered all around the room. "Umm…. Haru...You were a…"

"Oh my freaking GOD!!! Yes I was a model!!!!!!! I did it to get through college!!!" Haru stood up and pulled out a lighter. She lit it and put it to one of the pictures. "There Havoc!!! Are you happy now?!"

Roy walked in, followed by Riza. "What are you yelling about Haru, and why is that poster on FIRE?!" He ran towards the picture and yanked it out of her hands and stomped on it.

"Now Haru, would you mind telling us why you're lighting a poster on fire?" Asked Riza, sitting down at her desk.

"Ask the Lieutenant," she said angrily, sitting down and hiding behind a pile of paperwork.

"Havoc!" yelled Roy, coming into the room and sopping and staring at the pictures that were all around the room. He turned towards Haru, "You were a……"

"Nice tat," said Havoc, lighting a cigarette, "Did they airbrush it out for the catalogs?"

Haru stood up, anger etched on every line of her face, "You wanna see it? You really wanna see it? Fine! Let's look at that tattoo up close and personal, shall we?" She ripped off her shirt and threw it at Havoc.

"What are these? Oh, my God! Breasts! How does anybody work in the military hauling these things around? And what have we got back here? Let's see if I remember my anatomy."

She took off her pants and stood there screaming. _"_Glutes, right? Let's study them, shall we? Gather around and check out the booty that put Haru Springfield through college! Have you had enough or should I continue, because I have a few more very _interesting_ tattoos. You want to call me Major Model? That's fine. Just remember that while you're sitting on Two-_Hundred_ Grand of student loans, I'm out of debt."

"Haru," said Riza calmly, "Put on your clothes. Colonel, stop staring and get some work done. Havoc, Haru if you two ever do this again I will make sure that you two never work in the military again. Do I make myself clear?"

They all nodded and sat down at their respective desks.

"And Edward?" said Riza as the short alchemist walked through the door, "Take down these posters."

---x---

Riza walked into her dorm and shut the door, enjoying the silence of the house. Haru and Furey were working late, and there was nothing stopping her from spending the rest of the night in front of the T.V with a giant bowl of popcorn.

With a sigh she threw her keys onto the table and walked into her room. She threw herself onto the bed and was asleep within minutes.

* * *

**AN: **Thanks for sticking with me thorught that very long hiatus. Anyway, I'm hoping to pick up a few new reviewers as I try and bring back this story. This was a mostly useless chapter but whatever. 


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